5 Reasons Why I Loved Being Fat
Weight has been a problem for me my entire life. I have literally been on every single diet. I have seen multiple counselors, psychologists, trainers and weight loss gurus. Many years ago I even resorted to having weight loss surgery which consisted of 75% of my stomach being surgically removed.
I have lost and gained 100 lbs 6 times so far.
Now that I have realized that it is get healthy or die time, I have been digging deeper than ever. My biological sperm donor leaving when I was an infant was a huge reason that I over-ate. Everyone has a reason.
They have two little devils on their shoulders telling them all of the reasons they need to eat the Little Debbie on the kitchen counter. There is no skinny little angel reminding you that healthy equals staying alive sitting on your other side.
The media is so different now and more accepting of the voluptuous, curvy and plus-sized person. After all of my ups and downs from 150lbs to 260lbs and back, I have to wonder if this is really helping anyone. Not that the we need bullied, but does it really need to be encouraged? I can almost assure you that none of the morbidly obese influencers, singers and actors ever take a shower and look down and feel proud of the excess fat rolls, elephant legs and triple chins. It takes forever to shave your legs because they are big and the razor is regular sized. Worrying about falling is a huge issue as well. Can you imagine several people having to carry your dead ass out of the bathtub?
At the cost of having major health issues, I can say that being fat has afforded me a few benefits that being thin doesn’t allow.
1. I can cook and eat absolutely anything I want.
I love to cook. I can make a mean basil and pesto chicken. But eating a homemade carrot cake with cream cheese frosting is so much more enjoyable. I actually made it my personal mission to find the best sugar cookie recipe ever, eating all of the failed attempts in the process. Everyone loves the fat cook who bakes brownies.
2. I can avoid all events and people.
To most this might not be a plus, but leaving my house is not a fun thing for me. When I’m obese, friends disappear and I am never ever asked to go out to a party, club or event. I’m not asked to go to the lake, to meet new friends or actually to do anything. This doesn’t hurt my feelings as much as it should. I love my home, I could never leave and be ok.
3. I don’t have to hear the fat jokes.
Every single time that I have been really thin, people tell me fat jokes. It was all new to me when I first lost weight. People tell actual jokes about fatness and definitely point out the fat people around them. On one of the occasions that I was super thin, I dated a guy who took me on a swanky weekend getaway. He took me to Victorias Secret, L’occitaine, anywhere my heart desired. He bought me anything I looked at. On the last day of our weekend, we went out to a fancy restaurant. Before the appetizer even came out, he started telling me about his college days. He and his roommates had a weekend game they played and he called it ‘Pig Night’. For pig night, they would try to find the biggest girl on campus and bring her home and sleep with her. The guy who brought home the largest girl, won. He started to tell me about one girl, and her size, and what he did.
I stood up and walked out. The breath was knocked out of me. How many times had I won pig night for someone? We drove home that evening and I never talked to him again. (Please note that I kept all of the swag.)
4. People trust me.
I’m not sure why, but being fat must have given me some grandma Buddha like vibes. Total strangers would confide their struggles and hurts with me. I can only assume that they saw my struggle and knew that I could understand theirs. We can fight all day about obesity being hereditary or not, but at the end of the day there is still a world full of sad depressed people. They desperately want to crawl out of all of the fat. Regardless of the cause.
5. Men leave me alone.
This is my numero uno. If I could be fat AND healthy, then this is why I would do it. I simply do not like attention, and every single time I have been thin, I felt like an actual piece of meat. I feel that men wanted me to know that they ‘accepted’ me by always commenting, helping with doors, asking me questions and any other annoying thing they could do to get close to me. I understand that it’s natural for guys to want to mate and all of that, but the un-wanted attention makes me nervous and sometimes scared when they will not back down. I am not a pushy person, and I refrain from being rude at all costs. I usually ignore the advance, but many, many times, they won’t back down. I have had some very tragic things occur while I was at my thinnest. I was too little and too weak to get away.
I have an ex who tries to slither into my life every time he sees me thin and doing great. Guys I haven’t talked to for centuries will all of the sudden be messaging me asking how I am or telling me how great I look if I post thin pictures on social media.
One thing I absolutely cannot stand about social media, is when a person loses weight and there are 100 comments from people (mostly men) telling that person how amazing and beautiful they look. It makes me physically disgusted that this happens. This is one reason I quit social media. Maybe that is the response that some people are looking for. Usually not.
Obesity has been labeled as a disease, a sickness, a genetic curse and a total lack of willpower. My struggles with weight have never been a secret and I feel that sharing the downfalls and success’ have also helped others to be more healthy as well. After hearing and reading hundreds of stories from overweight people over the years, I believe that (for most people), fat is a big fluffy coat covering up years of hurt and shame. Under the coat is a neglected and hurt child, an abused child, someone who is trying to fill up the empty hole. Some people drink, some do drugs, some workout, some eat.
If eating healthy and thwarting off men with big egos is the price to pay for feeling good and living longer, I will pay it, though. Not once in my life have I been happy when I was obese.
Happy times, yes. Happy soul, no.
I would love to live long enough to see a more healthy world when processed foods are not even sold. In the end, though, it has to be our own personal decisions. We must stand up for our own health and our own quality of life.
Somehow, through the stress and hurt and anxiety, we have got to learn how to pull those little devils off of our shoulders and show them the door.
